god fucking dammit

"Deputy Kovacs" (grandbudapest)
10/30/2013 at 11:45 • Filed to: None

fuck the fucking world

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DISCUSSION (40)

Tom McParland > Deputy Kovacs
10/30/2013 at 11:48

Wut...context for anger please.

EL_ULY > Deputy Kovacs
10/30/2013 at 11:53

lol Fuck the fucking world :]

Chris Clarke > Tom McParland
10/30/2013 at 11:54

I wonder if he's more astounded, than angered. I know I am.

MonkeePuzzle > Tom McParland
10/30/2013 at 11:55

yes, is he angry about the speed, or what?

Deputy Kovacs > MonkeePuzzle
10/30/2013 at 11:56

I'm pissed about how much harder I'm going to have to work to break this new record.

PatBateman > Deputy Kovacs
10/30/2013 at 12:09

I like the name change. As a (ethical) financial advisor (stockbroker), I can't wait to take my clients to see the movie and tell them "See? Do you see what other stockbrokers do to steal your money? That's why you need to give me all of your money!! So I can protect you from hustlers!!"

Also, the record is already being disputed due to claimed alterations from the original roads and course. When you're ready to make the run, give me a holler. You can be my wing man any day.

MonkeePuzzle > Deputy Kovacs
10/30/2013 at 12:09

build a coast to coast high speed railway, use a train?

Kinja'd!!!

Deputy Kovacs > PatBateman
10/30/2013 at 12:20

I always used the "I feel the need... The need for speed!" quote from Top Gun, but after watching 32 hours 7 minutes, I've started to use "there's one thing better than sex, and that's going fast".

Time will tell what happens with this record, but just this article tells me the quest to officially break 30 hours is still alive with many attempts each year. When the time comes, you're number one on my list, Iceman. I have a few ideas to cut speed that Bolian didn't even think of. Watch out world.

PatBateman > Deputy Kovacs
10/30/2013 at 12:24

One request: whatever vehicle we use, it will NOT smell like we are trying to burn it to the ground for insurance money.

ddavidn > Deputy Kovacs
10/30/2013 at 12:30

My thoughts exactly.

Deputy Kovacs > PatBateman
10/30/2013 at 12:31

Do you prefer the smell of diesel?

Just kidding. Fuel cells fit in the front trunk of 911's, so we won't smell it.

PatBateman > Deputy Kovacs
10/30/2013 at 12:44

I would think that the 911 would be too conspicuous to drive at high speeds and not be noticed by the fuzz. Maybe an Audi S6? 155 MPH top speed, a bit more room, adaptive air suspension, better gas mileage (possibly), more dash space for additional electrical goodies/radar jammers...

My92SSEisn'taTardis > EL_ULY
10/30/2013 at 13:04

I cringed...in pain and revulsion

WTF dude.......

Deputy Kovacs > PatBateman
10/30/2013 at 13:28

S6 gas mileage is debatable. I'd have to drive one for sure. Turbocharged V8's are known to be bad when pushed hard (F10 M5, E63). 991 with PDK, whether it be a 4S or Gt3 is verifiably a light gas sipper.

Casper > Deputy Kovacs
10/30/2013 at 13:31

Target of your anger does not compute. Please clarify.

Deputy Kovacs > Casper
10/30/2013 at 13:33

What's your angle kid?

PatBateman > Deputy Kovacs
10/30/2013 at 13:33

You have some good points. And why in the hell was I thinking that the Audi had a supercharged 6?! I was LITERALLY looking at the engine specs when I wrote my comment.

Back to the Porsche. Possibly a Panamera if we think we need a third. Possibly your Cayenne if we decide to make a statement.

Casper > Deputy Kovacs
10/30/2013 at 13:33

Obtuse?

Deputy Kovacs > Casper
10/30/2013 at 13:41

I think autism.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > PatBateman
10/30/2013 at 13:41

Turbo 5 cylinder audi sedan. Ur-S4 or Ur-S6. Effortless cruising in classic sedan form. Mid teens fuel consumption when pushed on the highway. Ask me how I know that. Plus if it rains, you can keep up your speed. I had to pee really bad coming home one day in a rainstorm. No issues whatsoever doing 80+ on the clear highway.

Casper > Deputy Kovacs
10/30/2013 at 13:42

Ah, you must be more of an acute man...

PatBateman > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
10/30/2013 at 13:43

Yes, but would it do 140 effortlessly? We'd have to AVERAGE 100+MPH to beat the record.

Deputy Kovacs > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
10/30/2013 at 13:45

Audi barely used the turbo five in the S4 and S6. Too old anyway. Even if it's an efficient motor, it's nothing compared to today's efficiency.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > PatBateman
10/30/2013 at 13:49

Stock? No. Upgraded cooling and engine tuning? Yes. Those inline 5s are incredibly tough engines meant for rally and road racing abuse. I don't know if you'd be willing to get into thorough engine upgrades though.

Deputy Kovacs > PatBateman
10/30/2013 at 13:52

I like the Panamera idea a lot, it's actually been on my initial list too. The new one with the turbo six cylinder is attractive for many reasons. Car itself has a low coefficient of drag which heavily comes into play with fuel consumption at high speeds, so thats a win in that category.

Cayenne is good solely for stealth and fuel cell storage. And it's basically the best highway cruiser I've ever driven other than fuel consumption when 'whipping'.

Deputy Kovacs > Deputy Kovacs
10/30/2013 at 14:39

Part of me wants to get a Gallardo and have a moving average of 130 to even out to multitude of gas stops we'll need...

Chuckybas > Deputy Kovacs
10/30/2013 at 14:47

I saw this on Jalop front page and immediately thought about your thoughts on this.

Deputy Kovacs > Chuckybas
10/30/2013 at 14:49

I actually saw that Doug DeMuro tweeted it while I was at a stoplight and my heart dropped. I literally pulled off to the side of the road and read the article all the way through, then drove back in a fit of anger and disbelief.

Chuckybas > Deputy Kovacs
10/30/2013 at 15:04

I can imagine. I don't KNOW YOU know you, but it seems like you were putting some serious thought into it and ready to commit some serious resources. These guys came out of nowhere, so there's nothing to say someone else out of nowhere can't fare well either. What part of the country are you from?

Deputy Kovacs > PatBateman
10/31/2013 at 19:37

I think I found the car-

http://www.roadandtrack.com/go/news/new-ca…

Let's discuss plans over dinner. Say, Dorsia at 8?

PatBateman > Deputy Kovacs
10/31/2013 at 19:47

Top speed: 192.

Dorsia is so overrated these days. Gene & Georgetti at 10 (ultimate mobster place, great place to discuss sinister plans).

Deputy Kovacs > PatBateman
10/31/2013 at 23:37

You're not located in Chicago, are you?

PatBateman > Deputy Kovacs
11/01/2013 at 00:10

Nope. Went last year for the Texans-Bears game. I think my wife was sitting next to the local Don at that restaurant's bar (we were waiting for our table to be prepped).

Good people.

Deputy Kovacs > PatBateman
11/01/2013 at 00:12

I'm totally going to have a brain dump of thoughts right now:

Looking at the past two record setting runs done by Roy and Bolian, their fuel economy figures looked like they were returning somewhere near the city mpg ratings of their cars. Therefore, cars with high city mpg ratings relative to their highway ratings that, are great candidates.

The Audi S8, has a terrible city rating compared to it's highway rating (15/26), so, that's out the window. M6 Gran Coupe? 14/20, gonezo. These were two cars that I thought were actually good ideas, but my new theory (not proven in any scientific form at all) would say these cars are actually bad cars.

Now, for the real options. The Panamera 4S is a great option in my mind. It has a low cd of .30, the city MPG is 17 (highway is 27), there's an extra seat for a third, which I feel is necessary now after these failed attempts I hear about only have two people total in the car, and also would be helpful for planning and routing, etc. Only issue is fuel cell storage. I know the trunk isn't huge and could maybe, maybe fit two fuel cells. Other than that it seems bullet-proof.

The 991 C2S is my second option thus far. City mpg is 20, so that's a plus. Downside is lack of dashboard space for all equipment necessary. Fitting a single, larger fuel cell would work in the frunk too. Downside is also lack of real back seats.

What are your thoughts/other ideas?

PatBateman > Deputy Kovacs
11/01/2013 at 00:34

To be honest, I would still go with the Panamera with this (hypothetical) effort. A custom-made gas tank for the trunk can be fabricated to order, and it can even be made to be filled from outside of the vehicle and not emit any odors (no fumes in the cab). But the MAIN reason I would suggest the Panamera is very simple: room for a FULL SIZE spare in the back seat. One nail, one sharp rock, or one pot hole and you could otherwise forget the entire record. Imagine being 100 miles away from victory only to have a screw dropped from the bed of some contractor's truck destroy your chance of victory.

There is one other possibility. Nissan GT-R. Yes, the back seat is more of a "back seat", but it's doable. The city MPG is 16, but it also only has a .26 drag coefficient. Top speed is 197 (2013 model). AWD as well. It would fall somewhere around the 991 you mentioned, but... I don't know. A QUALITY supplemental gas cell could be made (not just two square tanks thrown into the back) that could also handle a possible full-size spare.

I'll be busting my ass at work tomorrow. You got me itching to make the 2014 Gumball 3000 run.

Deputy Kovacs > PatBateman
11/01/2013 at 10:41

I agree. Everything here is hypothetical. I like the thinking for making one off parts for the car. Money is no object for this, obviously. But investing in radar jamming paint that's used on jets might be out of the equation. Anyway-adding a spare tire is probably smart, too.

I've had the GT-R idea floating around my head too, the only thing that worries me is the short gearing, only 6 forward gears, and the true high speed mpg. I'll always advocate for a car with AWD, especially since October weather is always iffy. GT-R has a massive trunk too, so that's always a secret weapon in its own.

I think we all have that feeling... until we see the entry fees. I think that's about half of my first year out of school salary. I'd live off of ramen for another year to do it, though.

PatBateman > Deputy Kovacs
11/01/2013 at 11:12

I did notice that the Porsche has a taller gear than the Nissan, which could be a hindrance to the GT-R. And "hypothetical" is for, um, legal reasons.

Thinking about how many gas stops you could skip with a larger gas tank vs highest top speed... Let's face it: we wouldn't be driving at 190 MPH pretty much anywhere. Maybe 150, 160 tops. If you have 60 gallons of gas, able to squeak out 16 MPG and stop when you have about 5-7 gallons left (we'll call that the reserve), you're looking at about 840-880 miles between stops. Each stop would be approximately five -7 minutes. Yeah, you want to shave time off of anywhere you can, but I think that having 60 gallons is plenty. You MIGHT be able to shave off one gas stop with a larger tank, but then you're looking at a lot of extra weight that will effect the ass while at speed. I'm thinking that the Panamera is still the best choice. With a radar jammer/detector and all electrical goodies as well.

Also, yes, the Gumball has been calling my name for a while. The same train of thought for the Cannonball can be applied to the Gumball. If you're able to skip a couple of fill ups, you might be able to average a slower time while on the move but make up for it with passing the competition up while they stop at the pump. This also means that you could possibly lower the risk of getting pulled over by the fuzz, which could slash time off of your trip. Lots of possibilities. And yes, the £40k entry price (about $64k right this second) is a bit on the steep side. $32k per rider, basically.

Deputy Kovacs > PatBateman
11/02/2013 at 20:18

I don't think we would get over 170 at any point at all. In my mind, the only way to beat Bolian's time at this point is to have a higher fuel economy and equal to if not more fuel capacity. Relying purely on speed is risky and uncertain to victory. With that being said, cruising at 130+ should be pretty standard procedure when thats possible. But that's why I think having a car with near 20 mpg in the city, lots of power, and tall gearing will be key components to the winning combination.

Gumball has always been intriguing to me. I wonder if there still are some serious drivers willing to make their moneys worth, rather than just party it up all night. I think Gumball is great practice for cross country driving. Of course, you can just strap a V1 and a police scanner to your car, but the competition helps create a scene for the real trip.

This reminds me, what are you driving these days Pat? Any radar/nav/scanning equipment you run?

PatBateman > Deputy Kovacs
11/02/2013 at 22:18

I will admit that the Gumball has been quite douche-y in the past. Hell, it probably still is. It's intriguing to me, though. I've read all of the disclaimers, and they SWEAR it's not a race, and no one should try to race to the end and be the "winner". YEAH RIGHT. If it wasn't a race, there wouldn't be speeding, radar jammers, and Ferraris in it. While the evening activities sound like fun, I wouldn't be closing the club down.

Actually, my current ride is quite lame by Jalopnik standards. It's a Lariat F-150 Crew Cab 4x4. The funny thing is that, in Texas, most wealthy people don't drive S-Classes or better. They drive nice trucks. Considering most of their hobbies are fishing, hunting, or going out to someone's ranch on the weekends, they need it. The richest guy I know drives an F-250 King Ranch diesel 4x4. However, depending on what vehicles are out (and how good my 1st quarter is at work) I'll either go get a new CTS-Vsport (twin turbo V6, 0-60 in 4.6, big enough to fit the kids AND wife? Yes please!) OR wait to see if the 2015 Charger gets the Hellcat V8 (600 or so HP) and the 8 speed transmission. I've honestly never owned a car before, so I've decided to buy my wife a Tahoe and get myself something fast enough to get in trouble with. I'll borrow the Tahoe if I need to go to a ranch or tow my boat.

I do like your RR Sport, though. I ALMOST bought my wife an LR3 a few years ago, but it had $15k worth of offroad settings that she would never use, and I already had my F-150.

Oh yeah, wanted to ask. Are you in a fraternity?

Deputy Kovacs > PatBateman
11/03/2013 at 13:24

Interesting wealth dynamic in Texas. I like the CTS-VSport option-a little more refined than the Charger. Although 600 hp is quite....intoxicating....

The RR Sport is a fine car in most aspects, I just miss having something a little sportier. I drove a 535xi wagon prior, which was a truly understated car. Had some great memories in it, too. I'm not in a fraternity, but I look/dress like I should be. Small liberal arts schools don't feel the need for fraternities, which is too bad.